A Vacancy

Vacancy

A vacancy has arisen for Prime Minister of what is now called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

This is a challenging position, mainly as a result of the actions of the last person in post, who has left, having alienated some 33,551,983 customers.

Central to this role will be the job of negotiating a severance of an agreement with another 440,000,000 potential customers which just under half of the disgruntled customers are happy with and the other half are not. This will involve expensive and long winded talks for which the successful candidate will get no thanks.   In this connection, experience in dealing with angry fishermen and Gibraltarians may be of help.

The candidate will be in charge of appointing a suitable person to manage the economy of the country and raising funds to cover the considerable shortfalls expected as a result of the contraction of the economy.

There are other pending issues, one of which will be shrinking of the role as a result of the conversion of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland into a new entity called "Britstump".  The northern part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, known as Scotland, is expected to leave shortly, and this may be followed by its capital.  Britstump is expected to move its capital to Birmingham, Cardiff or Stoke on Trent. 

The Northern Ireland bit really never belonged, and it is anticipated that it will become a war zone, and left to its own devices.

Enough of the job, let's look at the perks.  The salary is reasonable and there is a nice house, outside which the media will be keeping a careful 24 hour watch.

Yes, the Government is an equal opportunities employer - until all that pesky employment law gets a makeover....